Life in Bay St. Louis is not for the faint of heart or spirit. While Biloxi and Gulfport have many businesses and utilities up and running, we in the Bay have next to nothing. There are no telephone lines, just cell phone communication. While all around me the houses have electricity, I still don’t. The breaker box and meter were torn from the wall so I had to get that fixed, inspected by a licensed electrician and the city inspector. I passed all the hoops and am now waiting to be connected. That cost $1k. The kids next door (relatives of the real neighbor, let me run an extension cord from their house after about 10 days or so with nothing. Making my own cup of coffee was a real treat. Waking up at my usual 5AM, I had to wait until I heard someone outside and then go beg a cup.

My days are filled with mud! It took me all last week to get the middle room (dining room) really clean. I just moved my bed in there yesterday. Today I cleaned the bathroom. It took four hours and about 25 buckets of water. And that room was partially cleaned before I evacuated.

In between washing, everyone goes cruising. We need ice just about every day. There’s free food and medicine, so you scavenge. I have enough peanut butter to last the rest of my life. Also you need as much water as you can carry. Tap water is on but you cannot cook with it or drink it. (Or brush your teeth with it) The Red Cross comes around daily with lunch and dinner but the food is so disgusting I can’t eat it. There are a number of places around town where hot meals are served, but I’m usually too tired to bother. What is amazing are the Meals Ready-to-Eat from the military. Each case of twenty four meals has a variety of menus. There are drink mixes, crackers (with peanut butter or cheese) fruit (such as applesauce or berry cobbler) cookies, cake or another dessert. You put the “hot” food in a puch with about an ounce of water and it’s heated in 10 minutes. What’s most surprising is that they taste really good (especially the cheese tortalini and the vegetable manicotti).

There is one bar open in the whole county. I’ve been there twice and ran into some of the Good Life people, but it’s very noisy and a bit too crowded for me. I pretty much stay at home and visit with neighbors. Five PM is the latest we start with evening drinks and by that time we really need one.

Some days are better than others. I still get the shakes, but the welbutrin is handling that except when I speak with the FEMA or SBA bureaucrats. Like my fiend Niann says “I am ok if I just accomplish one thing each day. Of course sometimes the one thing is getting up and brushing my teeth.” Right now I have another sinus infection (the mud has turned to a very irritating dust) and asthmatic bronchitis. Saw an MD free and got free antibiotics, but I’m not feeling great. I think I’ll go take a nap.

Oct 18
It appears that Gulfport and Biloxi have returned to somewhere near normal with many stores and restaurants open for business, That is NOT the case in the Bay or Waveland. In addition to the insurance company trailers, we have a walmart tent and a rite-aid trailer. I think Sonic will be opening this week. A couple of hardware stores, lumber yards and car dealerships are open, but not much else.

While shopping in Diamondhead (they have one grocery open) I met a woman at the checkout line who is working for FEMA. She said in Hancock county, we totally lost 46% of the homes. That doesn’t include the structures that will be condemned and bulldozed.

According to one man who was removing some of the huge piles of debris from the street, most of the contractors who were brought in to do this work are no longer here. Another rumor is that the red cross is pulling out as well. Although there are some military left in town, many of them have also left.

All around me neighbors have electricity, but I don’t. The repair to my system was inspected and approved by the Bay building inspector and the order went to MS Power t o connect me last Saturday. I have gone to the building inspecotr’s office and they called it in again, but still nothing. I do have a line to Kay’s house next door, so I can charge the phone and notebook, have a night lamp on, and can brew my coffee. Last night I attached my stereo and listened to my three CDs with my feet up on the ottoman a dink beside me and a book to read. Amidst the chaos it was an evening of luxury. I even had Jordan’s favorite “pick” meal: wheat thins with cream cheese, scallions and smoked oysters.

My home is in a constant state of dirt and cleaning. I had hoped that I could preserve the paint job in livingroom and dining room, but pulling the paper off behind where the couch used to be revealed black mold! Now, all the walls are gutted at two feet above the flood line, down to the outer siding. Thanks to a contact Jordan made for me, I signed up for help from the Methodist church. A team of 9 men and women came in and totally gutted my office (where there was a leak from a hole in the roof). The removal of FOUR layers of ceiling revealed black mold had really taken hold there. I will Clorox it today.

Of course all the wall gutting required constant moving of furniture out of the room being worked on and re-cleaning the mud that was under the wall and the sawdust and other filth (100 years of squirrel shit, rat shit, dead roaches, leaves, blown in insulation etc. was packed between the wall studs.) I had to pay the boys from next door $600 in addition to the free morning of help from the church. The church team also removed the kitchen floors. There were four levels there too: hardwood, two levels of linoleum and a level of tiles. I will have to get down on my knees and remove all the nails that stick up. There were also a few feet of termite damaged wood, so those boards were removed. In many places in the house you can see down to the outside. Air conditioning ala 1900 left the space open for air circulation (as well as critter access). I now have a closet door on the floor to get into my kitchen.

There is no way to describe the mud-dust and flies. Each time a car passes, there’s a cloud of dust floating up from the street. Several water main breaks wet down the trash and dust so we have smelly mud again. Until rubble from gutting houses is removed, the flies are terrible. You have to cover whatever you are drinking or eating outside or you end up with flies in your mouth. Since they completed the second round of debris removal yesterday, the fly population has drastically lowered.

I have applied to FEMA for a trailer. They are setting up about 200 of them every day. I had hoped to be able to stay in my home, but it’s now too open to the outside to make it through the winter and I am allergic to the mud dust. Two sinus infections already and constant laryngitis! It will be nice to have clean air, a stove and refrigerator again. According to the woman where I submitted my application, it will be two to seven weeks before it is set up in my driveway.

Life here is mostly cleaning and standing in lines, but not all. There is one bar open in town and I’ve been there twice, but it’s very loud and crowded. Last night there was a band on Main St, but I preferred to stay home and read. A single woman has bought the house two doors down. Marion has become a good friend and companion. We meet at each other’s house every night at five for cocktails and cheese and crackers. We both look forward to the time together. My friends Doug and Dwight have stopped over a couple of evenings and I see the other women in my crowd every Wednesday at Ninann’s house.

There are enough neighbors back that we now close the door at night. The earlier camaraderie has diminished somewhat. I think having electricity plays a major role in separating us more at night.

This has been way longer than I planned when I sat down to write to you all. I hope I haven’t bored you with all the detail. I’ll write again if there’s something new happening or if I just need to share what’s happening with me. Until then, bless the inventor of vodka!

Nov. 2
Wednesday, November 2, 2005

Julian is the second person this month to encourage me to be a writer, especially about my experiences in MS during and after Katrina. The other person was Carol, a physician at the Train Depot Red Cross Center. I had planned these emails just for communicating with those of you who are “out there” and have no idea what it’s like struggling to bring back their life, their town, and their state from destruction.

It’s now just a little over two months since the storm. Almost all of the service centers are closed or are consolidated. The FEMA Office is located about 6 miles away in the west end of Waveland. All the services that had been offered at the K-Mart Parking lot are gone now. FEMA trailers are still being given out, but already more than 3,000 have been given to Hancock County. There are still many hundreds of adults, children and the elderly living in tents. Although I am eligible for a trailer, the electric lines on my property prevent a safe location in my driveway. The FEMA contractor said there was not enough room in my back yard. Of course he didn’t say I could place one over my front yard garden. Instead, he asked if I wanted to be in a trailer park. Since by this time I had heat and electricity, I declined. Neighbors are joking about finally being “trailer trash.”

I feel extraordinarily lucky because I have a warm place to sleep that’s in my own home. I have hot running water that I can bathe in and now have water I can drink from the faucet. When so many have so much less than I do, I feel guilty any time I groan or complain. Many of my friends and acquaintances have lost everything. It’s not just their homes, but everything in them. I haven’t lost my 6-month old computer, none of my volumes of photos, very few pieces of art, a few pieces of furniture, etc. They have NOTHING except what they could find in the mud and wreckage of where they have lived for so many years. Stella, Sandy and Connie have something to complain about; I don’t. (Jordan, I saw Ronnie Peterson and his wife. They have lost everything!) Tonight the girls got together for our Wednesday night eat, drink and bitch gathering. Since Niann and I had not lost our photo collections, I spent a couple of hour making copies of photos and playbill l covers from the Little Theatre (now gone) for Faye, Sandy and Connie.

There are now only two places where you can get ice and water that I know of. There are also at least three places where you can still get free meals that I know of although I have only eaten in one and the flies were so bad I nearly choked it down. There is a large center near K-Mart run by a Christian Group and another further down in Waveland run by the Rainbow Group (don’t have their exact names) which brings in only organic foods to prepare the meals (they have been described in the Sun Herald as latter day hippies.) Each group has a huge kitchen, free nonperishable food, water, ice, diapers, and personal care and house cleaning items. Tonight Sandy said the Rainbow group is running out of canned food. If we had any we didn’t want, bring it down there. I have lots of chicken MREs that I don’t like and at least three cans of green beans…yuk. I’ll bring them all to theRainbow group tomorrow.

We have all been given about $300 in food stamps (more for families) that we can use at the Wal-Mart tent or the Diamondhead Grocery, which is about 15 miles away or in Gulfport groceries which are about 30 miles away. Almost all of us have received the Red Cross $360 and two checks from FEMA totaling $4,300. (I have been told FEMA will deduct this amount from your uninsured flood damage claim. I wonder if they will also deduct trailer usage too. Typical of our government, they give with one hand and take with the other.)

Anyway, between what we got in the first month for free, plus what we can buy, and what we can still get for free, no one is going hungry. In fact, I have gained weight. I learned this when I finally unpacked my blue jeans and couldn’t close the zipper. I guess I’ve had too many MREs (although I never eat everything in them) and way too many Pringles and Pepperidge Farm cookies (two things that haven’t been in my house for at least two years), Gaining weight is incredible because I do at least 4 or 5 hours of physical work on the house each day. Today I went to my closet and found an old pair of size 16. Oh well, I have more important things to concern me.

Last week I bought the plywood, backer board, and tiles to lay a new floor in the kitchen. I am doing ceramic tiles since I don’t expect to be doing that much cooking. I have picked out new kitchen cabinets, but want to wait till the floor is done. I have until Nov 8 to complete the floor before my stove and refrigerator are delivered. The delivery man from the lumber yard offered to have him and his son-in-law cut and lay down the plywood (which I doubt I could have done) for less than half of what a pro carpenter would have charged. He was so impressed that I planned to do this job myself. That was completed Saturday, and Sunday Niann and I picked up the tiles and backer boards. I dry fit the tiles yesterday morning and there will only be 15 cuts, almost all of which are under the cabinets and stove. The colors of the tiles remind me of a Monet painting: soft swirls of blues, pinks, browns, and tans in a different pattern on each tile. They are all very soft colors, kind of like a water color painting with the colors all washed. Needless to say, the floor will be the focal point of the kitchen. I often think of Arnie (my stepfather), who started a printing business at the age of 60. If he could learn something new at that age, so can I at age (almost) 61.

It is so strange seeing my kitchen completely bare. Even the walls are gutted out to 4 feet. The only thing in the room is my sink because we could not turn the valve that cuts off the cold water. What amazes me is that I’m no longer depressed about it. When they took out all my new stainless appliances, I felt as though they were ripping out the heart of the home I have worked so hard to build. Now, I only feel excitement about tiling my first floor and the gorgeous refrigerator that’s coming.

I still don’t have any interest in cooking. While I was at Jordan and Megan’s house, I cooked a full dinner almost every night. Since I have returned, I have heated one can of soup in the microwave. Cooking requires leisure time and energy, even if it is mindless. Mostly I eat now to fill my stomach or nervous munching on junk food. I sift through the boxes of MREs and in 10 minutes I have a hot meal. (I do at least pour it onto a plate and don’t eat from the envelope container.)

In the past couple of weeks, Niann and I have gone shopping in Gulfport at Lowe’s and Home Depot. We had lunch in TGI Fridays and Chile’s. Everything seems so normal there. Most of the stores are now open, the traffic is very busy near the interstate, and restaurants are packed. When I get back home the whole atmosphere changes. People here are not rushing so much. I think we have all learned to slow down, especially when waiting for FEMA services. Of course there is terrible frustration with the insurance agencies, but more about that at a later date.

People had to wait in lines for hours just to get forms to fill out and start the processes. For example, when I got back here I was told that I had to file for an SBA (Small Business Agency?) loan before I would be considered for a FEMA Grant. This was not a one page form that was easy to fill out. It was many pages of all my financial information. Once that was submitted, it was another 3 weeks before a man showed up to inventory the damage in my home.

Since the water came up about 2feet 3 inches, I qualified as “Severe damage.” I guess that means a higher level of reimbursement. Had it been 4” lower, I would qualify for a lesser rate. However, I have no idea what the dollar value of any rate is, and the young man could/would not tell me how much money I will be getting. We walked through each room and I told him what was lost. It seems TVs and telephones do get counted, but not the $1,000 of new rugs or the art work. When I told him that I had only lost shoes, not any other clothing worth counting, he said there wasn’t a category for shoes alone, so he checked off clothing (worth something like $350).

He saw my new notebook on the computer desk and asked me if I had lost one. Actually, I hadn’t. I sent the monitor and keyboard north to the twins from next door, but the tower was in a black trash bag near the front door. Shame on me, but I answered, “Yes.” He didn’t check the dots on his screen until I told him that I teach online and right now that’s my only income.

He was a delightful young Mexican American, but he couldn’t really feel for all the people he would be interviewing. Anyway, while he said he would be on this block for a number of days, I never saw him again. He checked at least four homes, then disappeared. No one else from FEMA has come to survey the damage experienced for the rest of the block.

Back to the differences between Gulfport and the Bay-Waveland areas. The main shopping in Gulfport is on Highway 49. It is pretty much clear of storm debris, although I have not gone further toward the water than Lowe’s (a good 3 miles north of the bay). In Bay St. Louis and Waveland, debris piles are everywhere. Highway 90 (our main thoroughfare) is lined with huge piles of office, motel, and trailer home debris. While the side streets have been cleared for traffic, there are piles and piles of debris everywhere you look. Trees blocking the roads have been cleared, but there are huge trees across people’s lawns with their roots up in the air. Most of the side streets are desolate.

The other day I drove to Citizen Street, where the Glover family had a small section of Cyril’s father’s house that survived hurricane Camille. I have not heard from any of the Glover family because I don’t have any telephone. I only have my cell phone and they don’t have the number. None of them live in the area of New Orleans that was flooded by the break in the levee. Most of Pat’s aunts and one uncle live outside in Metairie or Harahan. I really should call them and at least tell them what I have seen and that I’m okay.

All the houses on the 100 block of Citizen Street are gone. There is nothing there, just debris and the slabs that houses sat on. Unlike Waveland where the desolation goes on for blocks and blocks, in the Bay it went about two blocks. By the third block there are many houses still standing but most with heavy damage. I drove through with my fist in my mouth. I had not been on any of these side streets at all. The devastation is unimaginable. There is no one and nothing there.

Of course, I ended up with a flat tire from driving through the barely cleared roads. God bless the man who invented “Fix a Flat”. He deserves almost the same Kudos as the man who invented vodka—without which I could not get through all this.

Dear Ms. Elaine. Thank you so much for taking the time to write about the challenges you face day to day in your effort to reclaim life in the Bay. I am the daughter of Joseph Labat, owner of Labat's Cleaners. I live in Denver, and although I've been in contact with my sibblings and Father over the past three months, your journal puts me in the middle of the debris and mud. How helpless I feel in Denver. BSL will always be my home, no matter where I live. Its heartbreaking to hear all the stories. I don't know where you live, as I didn't get that from your journal. Please know that all of you are in our daily prayers and thoughts, even though Katrina has left the radar screen of the nightly news. May God bless and keep you in good health and spirits. Thank you again for taking time to keep us informed. Your journal demonstrates that the mighty folks of B/W are down but certainly not out.

Oh Elaine; I can feel your pain in these posts. I wish I could do something more than "hug my monitor" and hope you feel it next time you log in. But yes, Elaine, by all means..... you ought to think about a book. Remember Lauren Manning of Cantor Fitzgerald who nearly died on 9/11? Her husband's publication of emails on her recovery are very inspiring and have been a great publishing success. I'll be there's space for you on someone's shelf....I'd make room for you! Specially if any proceeds go towards continued rebuilding.

Nov 9

Surviving Katrina and staying here has opned up aspects of my life I never considered. They are challenging, but very rewarding. Tis week I layed a ceramic tile floor in my "new" kitchen. I have never done anything like this before, but the experience convinced me that I can also redo the bedroom floor and tile the new bathroom.

What follows are the things I found from this experience. I wrote them for my son in Maryland, who is planning a similar project in his kitchen and has as much experience doing this type of work as I did.

Hints about laying a ceramic tile floor:
1. Pay someone else to do it!!!
2. You cannot lay tiles on wood. Wood expands and contracts, tiles don’t. You have to lay tiles on backer board, That’s a cement based board that comes in ¼ or ½ inch depths that goes over the plywood flooring (or subfloor).
3. Backer board must be cut to fit the space, but you have to stagger the connecting lines. You cannot have a continuous line across the floor, even if it means staggering 2 foot lengths. That means almost every board needs to be cut.
4. You cannot cut the board with the tool that says it’s a cutting board tool. You have to use a saw. I used a jig saw, but had to buy blades for “hard materials” ($12 per pack).
5. Dry fit the boards so your mismeasurements are corrected. I know, “measure twice. cut once.” Well, even if you measure three times, you’ll make at least one cut wrong. If that happens, just piece together another small piece of board. It’s all going to be covered with tiles anyway.
6. Mortar: The first day, I started off with a 5 gallon tub. These are too big and you end up with big lumps of unmixed mortar in the bottom of the tub. Use a three gallon bucket instead. Start with water in the bucket, then add mortar powder slowly. Mix each time you add mortar or, again, you will have large dry clumps of unmixed mortar. It takes at least three very large scoops of mortar. On the fourth scoop, you’ve passed the peanut butter stage and need to add water again. Usually, by the time you reach the top of the pail, you have the right consistency.
7. Now mortar down the backer board. Make sure you are wearing clothes you can throw away! Be careful when mortar sticks to your skin. It will usually get pretty raw. Keep a separate tub of water and an old dishtowel for cleaning up the oops and your hands (and sometimes your feet.)
8. Wash out the bucket when you use all the mortar mix. At the same time, hose yourself and all your tools off before continuing. DO NOT RINSE ANYTHING INSIDE THE HOUSE. Dump all water and rinse the buckets and your body outside! Use the hose on high force. Make sure the bottoms of your feet are washed well. I don’t wear shoes; it’s not worth $12 for a new pair of sneakers.

Remind me to tell you about the time I worked in a sleep away camp. The kids and I built a three dimensional map of the campgrounds with paper mache’. The problem was that the room where we built it never got any sun. The paper mache’ started to grow mold and fungus and smelled. We tore it apart and threw most of it down the drain. It then turned to cement and it cost mega $ to clear the drain. If it weren’t so far into the summer that the head of the camp couldn’t find a replacement, I would have been fired. My point is, don’t put any of the dirty water down the drain!

9. Now, screw in the backer board. They give you a free bit for an electric drill with the screws. Throw it out; it’s no good. Get a strong bit with a square tip and about 5-6” long. ($20). Don’t forget, as I did, that screwing screws at high speed creates heat! Removing crooked screws with your fingers causes blisters. Big blisters! This will take a second day of work. Make sure you have plenty of Ibuprofen. You will need about three or four doses each day. (I never was taught how to use a power drill. I don’t know if my woodworking father taught my brothers, but he never taught me. Thankfully, my neighbor, Glen, had the right bit and showed me how to correctly use the drill. Once I learned the right rhythm, I got twice the work done in half the time (plus only one dosage of Ibuprofen).
10. The next day is tile laying time. I was lucky; I had a completely bare 14’ x 11’floor. Except for the two tiles at the entry and the row of tiles under the future cabinets, I could do all the tiles without cuts. It took me 7 hours on my knees to lay the tiles. I’ll send a photo tomorrow,
11. I haven’t finished the floor yet, although I bought a small wet/dry tabletop saw to cut the remaining tiles ($100) and have all the grout. I sealed the tiles, as suggested by Tracy, but my refrigerator and stove were delivered and it was a good idea to wait till after the delivery to finish. Besides, my hands are so swollen, I cannot flick my Bick!
12. PAY SOMEONE ELSE TO DO IT!! IT’S WORTH WHATEVER YOU PAY THEM
13. I am so proud of what I have done. I probably saved 2 to $3,000 in labor and I did it myself!!

Nov 10
My stove, refrigerator, washer and dryer were delivered yesterday. What fun it was to again go grocery shopping and be able to buy things that need refrigeration. I also bought a large roaster oven at WalMart to replace the drowned with mud slow cooker. Although I absolutely love to cook, I haven’t cooked a thing since I returned to the Bay 6 weeks ago. Today I cooked a roast chicken with potatoes, onions and tons of garlic! I can usually do this in less than 10 minutes preparation. Not now. The roaster was in the kitchen, the table for food prep was in the utility room, the sink with running water was in the bathroom in the opposite direction. It took almost a half hour to get everything in the pot, but the taste this evening was worth the effort!

Just as I was finishing dinner, Niann came over. Tonight was the Marine Birthday. This is an annual event at the Good Life as Ernie, the owner, is an avid former Marine. I have attended almost every year (Jordan is also a former Marine) and enjoyed the ceremony.

Lights were strung on the beach in the remains of the Good Life. There were at least 8 coolers of beer. Hamburgers and sausage were cooked on a grill and there were sandwiches on platters and a big sheet cake. I didn’t eat any, but there was also SOS (chipped beef on a shingle of toast). There were at least 50 people there for the celebration. No uniformed honor guard with the flags this year, but joy in seeing many of the Good Life regulars I hadn’t yet seen. I was too tired to wait for the cake cutting, but I’m sure it was done with panache.

This small “return to normalcy” is so greatly appreciated. Maybe I will be able to make the annual Passover dinner next spring. We may not have tables, chairs or a roof, but we can come together to celebrate freedom and survival. That’s what it’s all about, isn’t it?

I apologize to those of you who have pointed out that I was not supposed to place my own diary in this site. I tried to figure out how to start my own, but couldn't find the way. One emailer said that MSNBC has chosen the contributers. I did not know that or I wouldn't have put my own experiences here. I meant no disrespect to the original author. Please accept my apologies. I will discontinue my contributions

dear elaine,
I too live where you live and think that you should continue on with your writing. Your candid writings have given me joy and made me laugh. Like you I see the humour in this situation. One must not fall prey to the despair that is all around us. Continue to celebrate your success over the chalenges that you face. In doing so you help prove to your self and others that life goes on. Continue to see the joy in daily life. People often ask me why I smile all the time, I tell them after surviving Katrina everything else is a piece of cake. We all choose our reality and I am making mine positive. Bless you.
Renee

Elaine.. I enjoyed reading about you. too bad there are some that have to ruin things. Keep on posting, sister, and god bless!